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THE DEMM REPORT

Thursday, July 29th What do your car's gas tank and a delicious cheeseburger have in common?  A whole lot more than you might think.   Want to win a woman's heart?  Try chocolates and flowers...not stun guns and handcuffs.    Worst state fair exhibit.....ever.   Guy with pierced "junk" decides to take "it" out.  In public.  Bad idea.     Wednesday, July 28th Kelly-esque 12-year old calls cops and tattles on her drunk-driving mom.    Meet the best bartender in America.  Seriously...this guy just won the award.   Don't let this teenage girl anywhere near your Kool-Aid.  OH YEAHH!   Cast of "Jersey Shore" rings opening bell for NY Stock Exchange.  And so, the Apocalypse begins.   Guy tries to quietly steal a tarantula from the front desk of his library.  But somehow, he didn't quite blend in.  Link includes helpful photo.   Tuesday, July 27th If you're homeless and living in Hawaii, you might be getting on a plane soon.   Have you seen this uh, buxom man..in clown pants?    This is certainly an asinine reason to start a knife fight.   Mother of adult man who still lives at home decides to send a message to her boy.  Using the ol' 'feces on the toothbrush' method.   Monday, July 26th This is the most recent list of the health inspection reports from all of the major league arenas and stadiums in the US (and Canada).  Don't read this unless you're comfortable with the term 'mouse droppings.'   Wanna see the longest tongue in the country?  I didn't either, but I clicked anyway.   As you begin yet another workweek, here's a list of the 'happiest countries in the world.'  We're NOT number one!   Most awesome photo of a bear in a stolen car you'll see all week. Friday, July 23rd This is without a doubt the strangest "beer and squirrel" story you'll see all year.  And, Deidre...do NOT look at the pics!   Don't get so wasted this weekend that this happens to YOU.   Never slap a train.  Uh, that is, never slap a MOVING train.

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