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1. George Washington.
Married his way into becoming the richest man in Virginia.
1st George Washington (1789-1797) Net worth in today’s dollars: $525 million His Virginia plantation, "Mount Vernon," consisted of five separate farms on 8,000 acres of prime farmland, run by over 300 slaves. His wife, Martha Washington, inherited significant property from her father. Washington made significantly more than subsequent presidents: his salary was two percent of the total U.S. budget in 1789
His salary was 2 percent of the US Economy in 1790’s
Wouldn't let inferiors sit in his presence.
Grew hemp
He was the only unanimously elected U.S. president, and rightfully so. He set the tone for the presidency (including inventing the Cabinet system and starting the tradition of the inaugural address).
He didn’t have enough money to get to his own inauguration so he had to borrow $600 from his neighbor.
Washington was always at the frontlines in any of the many battles he took part in and there are countless stories of Washington returning from battle with bullet holes in his uniform, or without a horse, (it having been shot from under him), but he always remained unharmed. As a general, he believed, in the strength of small numbers. Typically both a loner and rebel, Washington preferred a small band of dedicated warriors over large armies any day of the week and he won plenty of battles when the odds were decidedly not in his favor.
However, some historians believe George Washington not very good a military strategy, and in fact lost as many battles as he won.
He did lead the famous surprise Christmas attack across the Delaware River in 1776, but just nine months later, he was almost fired as general because he lost the city of Philadelphia when the British Gen. Howe outmaneuvered him. It took a whole lot of help from the French to eventually win the war.
FACT OR CRAP: At his inauguration, Washington had only one tooth. At various times he wore dentures made of human teeth, animal teeth, ivory or even lead. FACT
2. John Adams:
Defended the redcoats in the Boston Massacre.
2nd John Adams (1797-1801) Net worth: $19 million Adams received a modest inheritance from his father. His wife, Abigail Adams, was a member of the Quincys, a prestigious Massachusetts family. Adams owned a handsome estate in Quincy, Massachusetts, known as "Peacefield," a working farm, covering approximately 40 acres. He also had a thriving law practice.
Had an incredibly high and squeaky voice and spoke with a lisp. He stubbornly refused to wear dentures.
Died, July 4, 1826…the same day as his bitter rival, Thomas Jefferson. They died only minutes apart. Adams’ last words were, “and still Jefferson lives”…not realizing Jefferson had died minutes earlier.
Graduated Harvard College (1755). Adams was the great-great-grandson of John and Priscilla Alden, pilgrims who landed at Plymouth Rock in 1620.
Adams and Jefferson were the only presidents to sign the Declaration of Independence, and they both died on its 50th anniversary, July 4, 1826.
Vice-President under Washington. Older that any other president at his death, he lived 90 years, 247 days.
Taught himself to speak Dutch. Then hopped in a boat to the Netherlands, where he borrowed money to keep America from going broke.
FACT OR CRAP: He never, never took a drink of alcohol his entire life. (Crap – made up)
3. Thomas Jefferson, the third (and many would say greatest) president of the United States was not merely one of the key Founding Fathers and the principal author of the Declaration of Independence - he also invented the swivel chair.
Opposite of Washington in that he wouldn’t let anyone bow to him and always wanted to be like a “regular guy”…often answered the door to the White House himself.
3rd Thomas Jefferson (1801-1809) Net worth - $212 million Jefferson was left 3,000 acres and several dozen slaves by his father. "Monticello," his home on a 5,000 acre plantation in Virginia, was one of the architectural wonders of its time. He made significant money in various political positions before becoming president, but was mired in debt towards the end of his life…as sadly, he was not good at managing money. Jefferson enjoyed fine living and often outspent his income to support his lavish lifestyle….
When he died in 1862, he had racked up over $100,000 of debt. In today’s terms, that’d be like $1.5 million! Jefferson’s family, stuck with his debt, had no choice but to sell Jefferson’s beloved home, Monticello, to help settle the debt.
Besides being totally awesome at writing stuff, Jefferson also designed houses with swivel chairs and automatic doors and even invented the portable printing press. In addition, he also founded the University of Virginia, just because he could.
Thomas Jefferson was an avid inventor who is credited with inventing the coat hanger… hideaway bed….and dumbwaiter.
Grew hemp
JFK even famously said the combined abilities of 49 Nobel Prize winners couldn't compare to the brainpower of a lone Thomas Jefferson. Such was the badassery of Jefferson that Kennedy even said that to their faces.
He had to add accent marks to his draft of the Declaration of Independence so that he could read it out loud without shitting himself. Throughout his presidency, he gave only two speeches -- one speech per term, and both were at his
-- As a result, Jefferson also pioneered the strategy of sending the State of the Union address to Congress in writing rather than delivering it in person, a tradition that would survive until Woodrow Wilson.
Jefferson made up for his lack of stage presence in the same way that bad metal bands do -- by wearing ridiculous clothes. His pants were a hideous shade of red, and he often looked like he had dressed in the dark. He'd intentionally wear ridiculously out-of-fashion clothes, with different styles randomly thrown together in a way that was impossible not to notice.
On his epitaph, which he composed, it mentions that he was the author of the Declaration of Independence and the Statuette of Virginia for Religious Freedom and that he was the father of the University of Virginia. He neglected to mention he had been the President of the United States.
Fact or Crap – Jefferson spoke 6 different languages. -- FACT
4. James Madison…smallest president. He was 5’ 5” and weighed only 100 pounds. He was at least fifty pounds smaller than his wife, Dolly Madison. And with her boisterous personality, some felt she pushed him around. He denied this.
He hated parties and dancing, but his wife always threw balls and parties. James Madison is the first president to have an integration ball.
"First Lady" was used first in 1849 when President Zachary Taylor called Dolley Madison "First Lady" at her state funeral.
British troops burned the White House 1814.
First president to have had prior service as a congressman.
First president to wear trousers rather than knee breeches.
> Net worth today: $101 million
Madison was the largest landowner in Orange County, Va. His land holding consisted of 5,000 acres and the Montpelier estate. He made significant wealth as Secretary of State and president. Madison lost money at the end of his life due to the steady financial collapse of his plantation.
FACT OR CRAP: He was so p-whipped by his wife that he often carried her purse for her, even after he became president…for this he was ridiculed by his enemies and political opponents. Some began calling him, The Dandy Madison.
CRAP – MADE UP
5. James Monroe: Graduated College of William and Mary (1776) Secretary of State under Madison. Secretary of Was under Madison.
On December 2, 1923 proclaimed the Monroe Doctrine, warning European powers not to interfere in U.S. affairs. First president to ride on a steamboat.
First U.S. Senator to become president.
First inaugural to be held outdoors. His daughter was the first to be married in the White House.
The U.S. Marine band played at his second inaugural and every inauguration since.
He, like Jefferson and Adams, died on the fourth of July…not the same year.
He once chased his Secretary of State from the White House with a pair of fire tongs.
FACT OR CRAP: He had such a bad case of dandruff, he had one aide always by his side, whose job it was to pick flakes out of his hair so he would look presentable when he went into meetings with his cabinet.
CRAP – MADE UP
6. John Quincy Adams: Graduated Harvard College (1787) Secretary of State under Monroe.
Adams swam nude (weather permitting) in the Potomac River every day.
A female reporter once caught him swimming in the Potomac and forced him to give a nude interview.
First elected president not to receive either the most electoral college votes or popular votes.
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." -- John Quincy Adams
First of two sons of a president to become a president.
Only president elected to the House of Representatives after his presidency.
He named one of his sons George Washington...Adams
The only two Presidents to return to elected federal government positions after their final terms? The other is Andrew Johnson.
With his father away from home most of the time busying himself with the rebel cause, Adams, at age eight, was the man of the house. He, in fact, often talked about watching the battle of Bunker Hill from his front porch, constantly worried about being, as he wrote in his diary, "butchered in cold blood, or taken and carried...as hostages by any foraging or marauding detachment of British soldiers." Remember when you were eight and you worried about missing Pokemon?
He kept a pet alligator in the East Wing of the White House. That actually probably came in handy for some of that shrewd negotiating we mentioned earlier.
Loved to have sex outdoors, and said, "The art of making love, muffled up in furs, in the open air, with the thermometer at Zero, is a Yankee invention."
He was widely lauded as the best diplomat ever. Before he became President, he was instrumental in the acquisition of Florida under president James Monroe. He also had a big part in writing the Monroe Doctrine, which was a ballsy declaration that basically told Europe to eff off.
As president, he was a vocal opponent of slavery and supported education advancement, which could make one think that his failure to get re-elected was due to his simply being too smart -- and too ahead of his time -- for the voting public.
FACT OR CRAP: His wife, Abigail Adams lost her left hand in a horse and buggy accident and therefore always wore extremely large and blousy dresses with large pocket in order to hide the stump. --- CRAP
7. Andrew Jackson: No formal education. Was first man elected from Tennessee to the House of Representatives, and he served briefly in the Senate.
7th Andrew Jackson (1829-1837) Net worth - $119 million While he was considered to be in touch with the average middle class American, Jackson quietly became one of the wealthiest presidents of the 1800's. "Old Hickory" married into wealth and made money in the military.
Placed 2,000 of his political supporters in government jobs and established a "kitchen cabinet" of informal advisors.
In 1835 he made the final installment of national debt making Jackson the only president of a debt free United States
Then Bill Clinton also accomplished the feat 164 years later.
He was the only president to serve in both the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812.
He was the only president to have been a prisoner of war.
He was the first president to have been born in a log cabin. First president to ride a railroad train.
Was in over 100 duels, many because people bad mouthed his wife, Rachel. He rescued her from an abusive relationship with her first husband and it was in question if she was officially divorced when they married. If someone mentioned this, Jackson would draw on them.
Enormously popular.
He called paper money “junk” and only used gold coins. Oddly, he was honored for this by being placed on the 20 dollar bill.
He also liked to move outhouses around so when people went out to use their bathroom, the bathroom was no longer there.
Jackson was the first president to take his oath outside at the Capitol in Washington. A huge crowd for the time period, at least 20,000 people, waited for the new president.
What happened next is truly legendary. The crowd migrated to an open house at the White House, as part of another tradition that lasted until the time of President Grover Cleveland.
The crowd quickly turned into a rowdy, drunken mob that smashed objects inside the White House. Jackson escaped either through an open window or side door, and organizers put large amounts of free booze on the White House lawn to lure the mob out of the building.
To make matters worse, an open feud broke out at the inaugural ball when the wives of Jackson’s cabinet members shunned a fellow wife, as part of what was later called the Petticoat Affair.
When the 1828 election rolled around, a lot of people were terrified when they heard Andrew "Old Hickory" Jackson was running. He got the nickname Old Hickory because he used to carry a hickory cane around and beat people senseless with it, and if you're wondering why he did that, it's because he was a lunatic.
Andrew Jackson was the first president on whom an assassination attempt was made. A man named Richard Lawrence approached Jackson with two pistols both of which, for some reason, misfired. With the possibility of an assassination taken off the table, Jackson proceeded to beat Lawrence near death with his cane until Jackson's aides pulled him off the assassin.
The guns were inspected afterward and it was discovered that they were in perfect working order, leading some historians to believe that it was an odds-defying "miracle" that Jackson survived. Experts believe the bullets were simply afraid of Jackson
Jackson said:
"I have only two regrets: I didn't shoot Henry Clay and I didn't hang John C. Calhoun."
By the way, Calhoun was his vice-president.
Net worth today: $119 million
While he was considered to be in touch with the average middle-class American, Jackson quietly became one of the wealthiest presidents of the 1800s. “Old Hickory” married into wealth and made money in the military. His homestead, The Hermitage, included 1,050 acres of prime real estate. Over the course of his life, he owned as many as 300 slaves. Jackson entered considerable debt later in life.
Because he was wounded in the duel at age 39 and never got rid of the bullet…he had a huge amount of phlegm in his chest and throat, always.
FACT OR CRAP: Jackson didn’t have his hair cut the last ten years of his life, leaving him looking quite shaggy at the time of his death. --- CRAP
8. Martin Van Buren
Wrote an autobiography that failed to mention his wife, even once.
Vice President under Jackson.
First president born in the United States of America. He and his wife spoke Dutch at home.
He took his four years salary, $100,000, in a lump sum at the end of his term.
After serving one term as president, he made three unsuccessful bids for reelection.
Because he was skilled at attaining his political goals, he was also nicknamed the 'Little Magician'.
His wife was also his cousin once removed.
FACT OR CRAP:Van Buren's nickname was 'Old Kinderhook'. He often approved things by signing 'O.K.' which is where 'OK' came from. FACT
9. WILLIAM HENRY HARRISON
Chris Demm was married at the place he was born.
This solemn place is currently covered with snow and has goose shite everywhere…it was occupied until 1999.
The song “Taps” was composed there.
First Thanksgiving in the new world at his future house.
Rumor has it that all of the first ten president’s partied there. That’s unconfirmed but we know for sure that Lincoln was there…he stopped by twice.
Chris Kelly nearly pulled a tent down there doing a dance called the “Giant” or “the Carolina Hop” while at Chris Demm’s wedding.
Harrison's father was a signer of the Declaration of Independence.
His grandson was Benjamin Harrison, who became the 23rd President.
Harrison gave the longest inaugural address - one hour 45 minutes… 8,578 words long …in the cold March rain…it gave him pneumonia.
The new president then attended a parade and three inaugural balls, in the same wet clothing he wore outside during the speech. He also drank at the inaugural balls.
His immediate job before becoming president was clerk of Hamilton County (Ohio) court.
First president to die in office. Inaugurated on March 4, 1841, contracted pneumonia in late March, died in the White House on April 4. Served 31 days.
FACT OR CRAP: HIS LAST WORD’S WERE…I SHOULD HAVE WORN A COAT
CRAP
10. John Tyler: Graduated College of William and Mary (1807). Vice President under Harrison. First vice president to assume office after the death of a president.
When he ascended to the presidency following the death of William Henry Harrison, he was dubbed "His Accidency"
Tyler was so deeply unpopular during his presidency that all but one of his cabinet members resigned in protest.
In January 1843, the Whigs introduced impeachment resolutions in the House, but the measures were defeated. Tyler served as president without being a member of any political party. He was a grand-uncle of Harry S Truman.
He had 14 children that lived to maturity. The youngest was born when he was 70 years old.
Five years after he left the White House, he was so poor that he couldn't even pay a bill of $1.25 until after a corn harvest. His first wife, Letitia Christian Tyler (1841 - 1842), was number 6 on the list of sexiest frist ladies.
Sadly, her First Lady sexiness was short-lived; she died a year after Tyler was elected to office. His second wife, Julia Gardiner Tyler (1844 - 1845), was number nine on the list of sexiest first ladies.
Julia parlayed her sexiness into celebrity status, when she posed for an ad that crowned her “The Rose of Long Island.” And that was before she was First Lady.
FACT OR CRAP: He halted government for two weeks after he had a boil on his left buttock lanced. - FACT
11. James Knox Polk:
James K. Polk was born in Mecklenburg County, North Carolina on November 2, 1795. He was the first President born in North Carolina.
Graduated University of North Carolina (1818).
Presidnet Polk was one of only three Presidents that didn't have any children.
James Polk was the first presidnet to have his inauguration reported by telegraph.
He was the first President who had been Speaker of the House.
James Knox Polk was a workaholic who worked long hours.
· Polk was the first president in office to have his photo taken in 1849
James K. Polk was the most successful president in American history. During the 1844 campaign, he made 5 promises: to acquire California from Mexico, to settle the Oregon dispute, to lower the tariff, to establish a sub-treasury, and to retire from the office after 4 years. When he left office, his campaign promises had all been fulfilled.
He was the first "dark horse" (long shot) presidential nominee in U.S. history.
· Died shortly after leaving office. It is believed that Polk worked so hard whilst President that he weakened himself physically and died as a result at age 53.
He was plagued by diarrhea during his entire one term in office.He eventually died of what was described as a “derangement of the stomach and the bowels”. FACT OR CRAP: Before the advent of anesthetics and antiseptic practices, Polk survived a gallstone operation at age 17. -- FACT
12. Zachary Taylor: No formal education. Taylor served in the regular Army for 40 years and never voted, never belonged to a political party nor took any interest in politics until he ran for president at age 62.
He was elected in the first national election held on the same day in all states (November 7, 1848).
He was the first president elected without holding any previous elected office.
Never voted for a President
"An argument is made that Senator Atchison held the office of President between the Polk and Taylor administrations. This argument rests on the fact that President Taylor, for religious reasons, refused to swear the oath of presidential office on a Sunday. So he delayed his scheduled inauguration until the next day, and took the oath on Monday, the fifth of March, 1849.
"Some claim that during the day's delay, Senator Atchison held the office of President. The story is made all the more irresistible by the apparent fact that "President" Atchison slept through his entire "term in office" because he was hung over after all the inaugural parties.
Taylor refused all postage due correspondences, so it was several days later when he found out he was the next President
Taylor chewed tobacco and spit it incredibly accurately. Aids say he never, ever missed a spittoon. He did not smoke.
Taylor had a big head, coarse features, a short neck, and thick unkept hair. His body was big and barrel-shaped. His legs were short, to the degree that he required help from an orderly to get into the saddle
Taylor's near-sightedness, it is supposed, unconsciously caused him to keep his eyelids half-closed to sharpen his vision. This brought his heavy brows down and gave the impression of a fierce scowl [2c].